Brown Crit

This is my Crit on the Brown Story:

The article by John Eligon seemed like it was trying to be sympathetic toward Michael Brown. It had a sad tone that made it seem that the author wanted Brown to be seen as a good person to the readers of the article. He took the time to point out all the good he has done even though it was not that relevant to the story in some parts.
 The article was well written as far as grammar and spelling goes. I do not think the article was pieced together very well. It seemed that the author went from one point to another and then would come back to a point that he made earlier in the article. I understand he wanted to put a good base of facts on Michael’s life but some parts did not flow from paragraph to paragraph that well. There was a sentence “He got into at least one scuffle with a neighbor,” that seemed like it was just tacked onto the end and did not feel like it belonged there. I do understand why he put that sentence there but I thought he could’ve found a better way to work that into the earlier paragraph.
The article did not seem fair to me. There were parts that put Michael in a bad light just to clear it up in the next sentence. When the article talked about him being in photos with people that were in gangs just to say he was not in a gang seemed counter intuitive to the point the article should have been making. There was another part that talked about Michael almost getting in trouble for stealing an IPad but then in the next sentence saying the issue was cleared up did not seem important to the story, it just seemed like filler for the article.
 There were somethings that the author inferred that I did not think needed to be said. When the author said “Michael was a handful” it was never stated that anyone from the family actually said that. The author need to just state facts more and leave his assumptions out of the article. In another part the author said the Michael was “no angel” and that is something that could be said about anyone in the world. I thought it was just something that could have been left out of the article. I also don’t think the author should have said Michael was not the best student, that is something that should’ve been said in a quote from a family member or friend.
 The story seemed like the author was natural for the most part but he swayed on both sides for parts of the article. I do feel like race was needed in this story and it was why the story was so popular in the first place. I think that his religion was not something we needed to know about Michael. The one major AP mistake that was made was the Mr. and Mrs. Being put after every name. I did not correct that in the article because of the frequency of it appeared